Sunday February 10, 2008
Book 9: The Body Politic — Part VI: Thanks for the Memories


Narrator: Aboard the U.N.S. Battleplate Morokweng. . .
Admiral Emm: How far along are you, Colonel?
Colonel DeHaans: Oh, I've only just started.
Colonel DeHaans: Adaption of the Laz'R'us protocols to the non-humans from the Touch And Go will require a bit of trial and error. There may be some permanent damage, especially among the rarer specimens.
Colonel DeHaans: And as I told you earlier, doing this to the amorph is out of the question. That creature is far more valuable as a research specimen. I'm keeping him.
Admiral Emm: Commodore Bhotsu plays an amusing game with me. At least, I suppose it to be amusing for him. I would now like to play it with you. It is called "Good News, Bad News."
Colonel DeHaans: Umm. . . I know this game well, Admiral. I'd rather not play.
Admiral Emm: The Good news is that it the Fleetmind just sent us what they claim to be "Everything you'll need to adapt Laz'R'us to a wide range of sophonts." Tagon's entire roster is covered.
Colonel DeHaans: But. . . I was looking forward to figuring this out for myself. That's half the fun!
Colonel DeHaans: Oh, wait. . . What's the bad news?
Admiral Emm: You are giving the Amorph back. I cut an additional deal.
Colonel DeHaans: Admiral! I was really looking forward to experimenting on him!
Schlock: And I was really looking forward to breaking free and eating you.
Admiral Emm: This is amusing.
Colonel DeHaans: See? We've already bonded!