Tuesday June 16, 2009
Book 11: Massively Parallel — Part II: Barsoom Circus Command
Note: "Must" is a condition experienced by non-uplifted elephants, both African and Asian, which makes them unmanageably aggressive. While it has little to do with "lust" (other than rhyming) it has long been associated with sexual aggression.The condition has been bred out of loxodontus africanus sapiens, elephas maximus sapiens, and neophas maximus sapiens, but that doesn't stop the words "must" or "musthead" from being applied to sapient elephants in a derogatory manner... though it is perilous to do so.Addendum to Note: An uplifted elephant who seeks congress with non-uplifted elephants suffers from a different sort of condition entirely, whose clinical term grows out of the fact that the non-uplifted animals are a little bit like children and a little bit like beasts. "Pedobeastophilia" is a seven-syllable word which, had it been spoken by the wrangler in the strip above, would probably have resulted in his death.


NARRATOR: Barsoom Circus Animal Compound...

CHISULO: Hello! I'd like to come in and have a look around.

ELEPHANT TRAINER: Oh, great. Another musthead.

CHISULO: Excuse me?

ELEPHANT TRAINER: You heard me. I see you uplifts all the time, desperate to get funky with one of my baseline lady elephants. I guess you're too lazy or boorish to score with a female who can talk back to you.

ELEPHANT TRAINER: Now get out of here. I'm a wrangler, not a pimp.

ELEPHANT TRAINER: Also, please don't kill me on your way out.