NARRATOR: The U.P.A. warship Graveplough is experiencing technical difficulties.
Unnamed U.P.A. (inside ship): Sir, the S.T.S. missiles have armed themselves.
GRAVEPLOUGH CAPTAIN: I didn't give the order to launch.
Unnamed U.P.A. (inside ship): I didn't launch them. They're still in their tubes, but somehow they're armed.
GRAVEPLOUGH CAPTAIN: Disarm them, you idiot!
Unnamed U.P.A. (inside ship): I can't, sir. They're armed armed. Like, if we mess with them they'll explode.
Unnamed U.P.A. (inside ship): I think they think they've been fired at the enemy.
GRAVEPLOUGH CAPTAIN: ABANDON SHIP! ALL PAWS TO THE LONGBOAT!
NARRATOR: People move quickly when a ship's armory has technical difficulties of this nature...
GRAVEPLOUGH CAPTAIN: Go go go!
Unnamed U.P.A. 1 (inside ship): Decks five and six are clear.
Unnamed U.P.A. 2 (inside ship): C.I.C. is clear.
Unnamed U.P.A. 3 (inside ship): Armory and Engineering are clear.
NARRATOR: In just two hundred and twenty seconds Graveplough's longboat is launched with all hands safely aboard.
Unnamed U.P.A. (inside longboat): We can run diagnostics remotely. We'll figure this out when we reach Claw Six.
NARRATOR: Nope. That is not what will happen when the longboat reaches Claw Six,
NARRATOR: These particular technical difficulties are contagious...