NARRATOR: Meanwhile, in Sol System, beneath the Jovian cloud deck...
PETEY: Admiral Argharghrar, you should evacuate this facility immediately.
ARGHARGHRAR: Hello, Petey.
PETEY: Remember two days ago?
PETEY: When a long gun blast missed this facility by a scant six hundred meters?
ARGHARGHRAR: I do. Are you telling me how to run my command?
PETEY: I am. Now LISTEN.
PETEY: That shot came from Chinook's fleet. She missed because I corrupted her targeting data.
PETEY: Her NON-corrupted targeting drones are now en route.
PETEY: Light-speed delays in their observations give you a seventeen-minute window before Chinook has a fresh firing solution.
ARGHARGHRAR: I can't evacuate on the word of an agent of a foreign power.
PETEY: I'm no agent.
PETEY: I simply AM.
ARGHARGHRAR: That's a bold statement, considering “I am” is a popular name for God.
PETEY: I meant “I AM a foreign power.”
PETEY: But I am also the closest approximation of a god you're likely to meet today...
PETEY: Unless you haven't evacuated within sixteen minutes.
NARRATOR: Sixteen minutes later...
ARGHARGHRAR: “God told me to evacuate” won't go over well during my inevitable court-martial.
PETEY: God could put in a quick appearance on your behalf.
ARGHARGHRAR: I should find a religion where God doesn't do that.