Saturday November 11, 2000
Book 1: The Tub of Happiness — The Shopping Trip

It's Bonus Strip Time
In honor of Schlock getting his favorite weapon back, we've got a little beat poetry for you, Sinfest-style...

Transcript

Schlock: Hey, Breya! Look! They have plasma cannons here!
Breya: Schlock, we're here to buy body armor, not flashy big guns.
Schlock: And since I don't wear body armor, you can spend my armor allotment on this.
Breya: I can just have Kevyn issue you something. You don't need that.
Breya: I mean really! It's big, it's too noisy, and the barrel alone scares people. Firing fusing plasma is incredibly irresponsible, and banned in half a dozen star systems.
PlanetMercSales1: You oughta go into sales here, lady. That was a great pitch.
Schlock: I'll spend my own money if I have to. I need this.
Breya: Fine, but you have to clean up after it.
Footnote: It's Bonus Strip Time In honor of Schlock getting his favorite weapon back, we've got a little beat poetry for you, Sinfest-style...
Schlock: hey, beat-poet. Can I haiku at'cher mike?
Slick: Knock yourself out.
Schlock: Li'l magic sleep gun, you just don't have what I need.
Schlock: ... that ominous hummm
Sign: Planet Mercenary
SFX: OMMMMINOUS HUMMMMMMM
Random Crowd: AIIIEEE!
Slick: Wow, it's like "Violent Zen."
Footnote: Note to readers: Slick the Beat Poet appears courtesy of Tatsuya Ishida of Sinfest fame. The haiku uttered by Schlock was written by my close friend (and a true Schlock Fan) Chalain. Thanks, guys!