Sunday October 1, 2000

Book 1: The Tub of Happiness


Narrator:Aboard the Warrant-class Cruiser Habeas Corpus, warrior-attorney drones of the Partnership Collective™ prepare for a jaunt through hyperspace. . .
Attorney Drone 1:We have reached the wormgate. In moments we will transfer to the Kelric system.
Attorney Drone 1:With their ship under K.D.F.A. control, those mercenaries cannot escape us with their clever new hyperdrive.
Attorney Drone 2:They'd better not. It's your butt on the line if they do.
Attorney Drone 1:Ummm, the last time we checked, we were a hive-minded collective. Your statement implies individuality.
Attorney Drone 2:Oh.
Attorney Drone 1:Besides, I'm a snake. I don't have a butt.
Attorney Drone 2:Okay, mister no-butt smarty-pants: If we're a hive-minded collective, how come we talk to each other?
Attorney Drone 1:Ummmm. . .
Attorney Drones:Do you know?
Narrator:It's a plot device. Besides, it makes you attorneys seem just a little less evil. Taking some heat off the author.
Attorney Drone 2:He's getting pressure from real attorneys?
Attorney Drone 1:Real, live, bar-certified, Earth attorneys?
Attorney Drone 1:Now that is scary.
Attorney Drone 2:There's no way I. . . er. . . we can compete with that.
Narrator:<Sigh>. You are not helping matters any. Now get on with the story.
Attorney Drone 1:Right, then. Ummm. . .


Narrator:". . .With their clever new hyperdrive."
Attorney Drone 1:But I've already done that bit.
Attorney Drone 2:Hey, he's gone on without us!
Narrator:Trapped in Einsteinian space, our heroes are running out of time--and their only hope just crawled out of a toilet. Tune in tomorrow, please.