Sunday September 15, 2002
Book 2: The Teraport Wars — Petey Promoted
Before the detail-oriented Schlock Mercenary readership jumps all over the author about mis-stating Lieutenant Commander Der Trihs' rank, it should be known that Der Trihs still gets little respect from the crew, even after his promotion following his utter non-participation in the events in Ghanj-Rho. You can hardly expect the enlisted men errr... things to use his full title when dissing him behind his back.

We should also note that the Post-Dated Check Loan is not listing to starboard because that side is 'heavier.' The visual imbalance implicit in the missing port-side bays has nothing to do with the angle of display in the first panel. I mean, it might LOOK like the P.D.C.L. is heavier on one side, and that might SEEM like it would make it tip a bit, but if I have to explain to you why that's not really the case, we'll be here all day.


Narrator: Back aboard their sentient starship, two sergeants try to come to grips with the loss of the grocery money during the beer run.
Ch'vorthq: So... To whom shall we break the news about the pick-pocket?
Schlock: Technically, I should report to Commander Andreyasn.
Schlock: Kevyn won't be in favor of a retaliatory strike, though.
Ch'vorthq: Technically, I ought to report to warrant officer thurl, but he'll just want to cut losses... Right out of my next ten paychecks.
Schlock: You know, Commander Gyo used to be a bounty-hunter. He might see things our way.
Ch'vorthq: Haven't you noticed that there's less and less of 'Doyt Gyo, Violent Idiot' in him lately? Haban, that A.I. in his head, is not likely to see things our way.
Sign: Safety starts with 's'
Schlock: We could try Lieutenant Der Trihs. You know, exploit the fact that the only way he can find his butt is with an enemy boot.
Petey: You're arguing a moot point. You've already reported to me.
Schlock: Just 'cause you can eavesdrop on us, that doesn't make you an officer, Petey. You're just our ship.
Petey: I report directly to the captain, though... As an officer should.
Ch'vorthq: That cuts both ways, Petey. You get sent into the line of fire, just like a grunt.
Petey: I'm worlds smarter than anyone else on board, though. That says 'officer' right there.
Ch'vorthq: Gee, if he's that smart, and he gets shot at, he might qualify to be a sergeant.
Schlock: If he's that arrogant, though, he's officer material all the way through.
Der Trihs: