Monday March 31, 2003
Book 3: Under New Management — Part I: The REALLY Clever Monkeys
Humans who have dreams in which they fly sometimes fantasize about being angels, or supermen, their reasoning being that we dream of flying because we are somehow destined to.

Some Enireth who have similar dreams postulate that their ancient evolutionary ancestors must have been able to fly. They point at artifactual 'blips' in the fossil record, and suggest that flight was abandoned in favor of more robust body structures. Naturally, they're ridiculed by the Enireth scientific community at large, who would look at the colorful evolutionary diagram above with disdain at best.

They're all wrong. Humans and Enireth both dream of flight for the same reasons: parents irresponsibly swing impressionable infants around, burning feelings of vertigo into barely-post-embryonic neural structures. The 'dreams' are nothing more than post-traumatic stress, and the fact that the Enireth DID evolve from what is essentially a flying toad has nothing to do with it. Those little flying toads did not have enough brain to properly appreciate flying, much less remember it, as evidenced by the fact that they gave it up so that they could be fat instead.


Narrator: The Enireth are a smooth-skinned sapient race, evolved from tinth-philkra's fresh-water amphibioids.They are an intelligent, noble, and proud people, worthy of respect.
Enireth Frat Boy Y: Frat-brothers! Tonight's leadership activity takes us to the library, where we shall taunt human first-years until they cry.
Narrator: On the average, anyway.