Sunday April 16, 2006
Book 7: Emperor Pius Dei — Part V: Glamour Assault


Serge: It's true, Lieutenant. Rapunzel brand follicle accelerant is not very good for you.
Serge: It is topically applied, but it's systemic, and lots of people who use it get sick, sick, sick.
Serge: That's why you'll be getting a top of the line nanny treatment instead.
Serge: Billions and billions of nanobots will create hair for you from a template lifted from your follicles. The hair will be just as much yours as if you'd spent years growing it out yourself.
Serge: Well... almost. You see, it'll be healthier. No wear-and-tear. No split ends. No in-and-out color treatments. Just one hundred and fifty centimeters of solid, strawberry-blond gold.
Elf: I thought you said we were doing seventy-five centimeters.
Serge: Wait till you see what that extra length does, little lady.
Serge: And for the folks at home, you wait and see, too. We're doing this on live TV, but it will take about two hours.
Serge: Lieutenant Foxworthy will be here, and our studio audience will be here, but the rest of you get to see the feature-length finale of "Whose camera is this, anyway?"
Serge: It's not as much fun as Glamour Assault, but it beats watching hair grow.
Tagon: I want to fast-forward.
Ennesby: And that's why I don't like live television, sir.
Narrator: It still beats a once-per-day comic strip.