Sunday June 28, 2015
Book 16: Big, Dumb Objects — Part I


NARRATOR: Broken Wind and Cindercone approach Eina-Afa, the Neoafan Freehold system's "Can Full of Sky."

IAFA: Chinook, this is Iafa. We're back, and Cindy brought you a present.

CHINOOK: Just one? I've got an entire world to run here.

I need all the presents.

CINDY: You only get one, but it's loaded.

It's a fifth-generation Tricorn-Class battleplate with three 1100-meter annies and six shipwright-class fabber bays.

CHINOOK: Three annie plants? Cindy, we asked for five.

CINDY: Captain Murtaugh's expedition was underpaid. Sorry, love. We're settling for three.

CHINOOK: Cindy, Iafa... I need more power than that. I had to turn out the lights for twenty-two minutes yesterday just to open a door.

IAFA: What door?

CHINOOK: The axial hatch two thousand klicks west of the hurricane track.

IAFA: I molybonded that hatch shut millions of years ago. You might as well have cut a hole in a wall.

CHINOOK: Cut a hole, open a door, whatever. Cindy can use it to drop off my present.

CINDY: You want me to haul Jumpstar Prime down in one piece? The original plan was to take her apart upstairs.

CHINOOK: "Jumpstar Prime?"

Who gave her that name?

IAFA: It's only temporary. We're taking her apart, remember?

CHINOOK: Hmph. I still need to speak with the person responsible.

NARRATOR: Milliseconds later...

CHINOOK: "Jumpstar Prime!"

Sergeant, it is PERFECT. I wish I had skin! I'd get it as a tattoo!

SCHLOCK: Already taken care of, but I can do a bigger one if you'd like.