Sunday September 22, 2002
Book 2: The Teraport Wars — Petey Promoted


Narrator: Lieutenant 'Elf' Foxworthy returns from the surface...
Elf: I got the contract. We're gonna get paid by the 'bugs' to start and finish a gang war.
Petey: Were there any problems?
Elf: The naive little snots tried to tell me that hiring mercenaries to take out their rivals would be cheating.
Petey: Naive indeed.
Elf: I mean, if nobody cheats, who will the mercenaries of the universe work for?
Schlock: That would be so unfair.
Narrator: On the surface, In downtown chuba...
Scab: She was totally hot.
Chuba Gangmember1: Chuk, man, I still can't believe you're gonna pay them to wipe the nags.
Chuk: You heard her. They need the money, and if we won't hire them, then nags might.Besides, We've got money. It's just like buyin' a better gun, only you get the hand to hold it, too.
Scab: Totally.
Chuk: See? Scab agrees with me.
Scab: Totally, totally hot.
Chuk: Anyway, the nags are goin' down. I bet scab's new mercenary girlfriend could take them all on herself.
Scab: Hot, man.
Narrator: Across town, the nags meet.
Phil: Yo, Gig! Them chuba bugs is callin' us out!
Gig: Chill, phil.
Gig: The bugs may think they're tough, but I hired us some military assistance...Mercenaries.
Narrator: The game is more interesting when everybody cheats.