Saturday September 28, 2002
Those of you wondering where Chuk's goggles went, or worrying about the possibility of asphyxiation of a target struck by immobilizer fire, will be pleased to learn that the answers are related. The green-mod goober rounds in use by Schlock's team are mildly nanomotile in nature, and can detect buildups of gases related to the most common types of respiration. Shots covering a respiratory opening will migrate away, allowing the target to breathe and, in some cases, see (there are sapient species with eyes in their 'mouths' or 'nostrils,' although it's equally accurate to say that they eat and/or breathe with their eye-sockets). Thus, Chuk got shot in the face, and the goober-goo migrated off of his face, and took his goggles with it.

The nanomotile nature of goober-goo also helps ensure target immobility and maximum discomfort. Green-mod 30 will actually give wedgies, and it's impolite to talk about what green-mod 19 will do.

Book 2: The Teraport Wars
Part II: Filling the Tub of Happiness

Transcript

Narrator:Open-field combat with non-lethal ranged weapons sounds different than conventional combat does.
Elf:All units, open fire!
Schlock:Yeee-HAH!
SFX:Whud Whud WhudThruummSplatk Splutch Stuuun
Chuk:$%#@!! Somebody un-$%#@ing stick me from this #$%@&ing &@#%ety wall!
Narrator:There's far more profanity, and it's much louder, what with there being fewer holes in lungs.