Sunday September 29, 2002
Book 2: The Teraport Wars — Petey Promoted


Narrator: The toughs finish cleaning up after a vicious (though non-lethal) battle.
Schlock: That's the last of 'em.
Elf: Okay. Let's get on with the looting.
Chuk: You guys are ripping us off! We paid you to win!
Petey: We did win. Your competition has been eliminated.
Chuk: So you're gonna let me an' my homeyz go then?
Petey: Nope. That would be breach of contract.
Petey: You see, your competition hired us to eliminate you.By outfitting you all with transceivers, we ensured a complete sweep.
Chuk: Oh, that is just $%ety-#$%!
Gig: You double-crossing #$%@ers are gettin' paid twice!
Petey: Twice? Count again, my delinquent detainees.The local police force paid us to take both of your little gangs out of the picture.
Chuk: Oh, That's low.
Gig: So what are you gonna do with us?
Petey: The merchants association, your neighborhood watch, and the PTA are paying us to haul you to camp Grumplewhine.
Scab: Oh no... Juvie rehab.
Gig: Wait... That means you're gettin' paid four times?!?
Petey: The camp fees are being covered out of the sale of the assorted 'assets' from your dens.There's a big surplus though, so its more like five times.
Sign: Camp
Petey: Hopefully camp will teach you little thugs that crime does not pay.
Chuba Gangmember1: Obviously it pays for you.
Narrator: Word up on that, homey.
Serial Peacemaker: