Tagon: Petey has a point. As the A.I. of the ship, he fulfills many of an officer's roles. But unless I make him a true officer, he can't be as effective in some of those roles as he should be.
Schlock: You can't make him an officer! He's not real!
Petey: I am not my avatar. I am a starship some twelve hundred meters wide.
Schlock: And he just admitted that he's too fat for a proper uniform.