Sunday July 31, 2005
Book 7: Emperor Pius Dei — Part I: Big Schlock, Little Schlock, What Begins With Schlock?


Narrator: Captain Tagon checks the company books. . .
Elf: Captain, you're supposed to be on vacation with the rest of us.
Captain Tagon: Sorry, I'm trying to squeeze blood from a stone here.
Elf: You'll probably squeeze harder if you spend a little time in the sunshine.
Captain Tagon: If I spend time in the sunshine now, we can all stand in line at the soup kitchen next week.
Captain Tagon: We've got no ship, and Petey's plans have gotten bigger than what we can help with, so our contract with him has pretty much expired.
Captain Tagon: Thurl and Kevyn made a killing on the stock market but we spent almost all of that paying off Colonel Pranger, including paying for the loss of his flagship, the Integrety, during that botched extraction from Ystre.
Captain Tagon: We've got almost enough left to buy a cheap drop-ship, but I can't do that and make payroll.
Captain Tagon: I'm glad everybody is having fun now, because when the vacation is over, it's really over.
Elf: Captain, there's a beautiful girl in a bikini standing right behind you.
Captain Tagon: Where?
Captain Tagon: Oh, did you mean you?
Elf: Doc, I think the Captain needs an ice-pack and a clue implant.