Tuesday December 20, 2005
Book 7: Emperor Pius Dei — Part III: Return to the Tub of Happiness


Narrator: In any engagement during which there is deliberate ramming, the Captain is required to shout something useless at the top of his lungs.
Freighter Captain: Ramming speed!
Narrator: This is silly because technically you can ram at any speed. It would make more sense to announce an actual speed, using units of measure, appropriate to the amount of damage you desire to inflict.
Narrator: Shouting "ramming speed" only serves to alert everyone on deck to the impending event, allowing them to assume crash positions, or otherwise brace for impact.
Narrator: This of course renders the next mandatory shouted command redundant at best.
Freighter Captain: Brace for impact!