Sunday September 30, 2001
Narrator:Another contract draws to a successful close. It's been a full week since Schlock devoured the terrorist: An incident-free week spent peacefully patrolling the park for a placated employer.
Schlock:Reporting back as ordered, sir. We can pull out just as soon as we can get Nick and Shep out of the gift shoppe.
Tagon:There's no hurry. Give 'em a few minutes.
Tagon:And just so you know, Sergeant, the way you handled that terrorist should have landed you a promotion. But your indiscretion with the attorney drone should have gotten you demoted, so I think it averages out.
Tagon:I still don't understand why Mister Bejo kept us on contract, though. I'd have thought he'd want to distance himself from us as soon as possible.
Schlock:He did, sir. But I told him that our deal was off unless he kept the Toughs on contract.
Tagon:What deal? when did you do any contract negotiation with our employer, Sergeant.
Schlock:Oh it was just part of the licensing agreement.
Nick:Sarge! They're in! An lookit! I wish I had pecs like this toy does!
Nick:I bought the whole squad! There's a plushy of you in there, and they did some 'schlock in a cup,' too. Kids are gonna love this crap.
Schlock in a cup
Magic Dreamland gift shop
Nick:There's no Tagon-toy, though, sir. Sorry, I looked real hard.
Tagon:No, don't explain. Let me see if I can figure it out on my own. You sold Fez Bejo and Magic Dream-Land the rights to use your squad's likenesses for merchandise, capitalizing on your fifteen minutes of fame.
Schlock:More like forty-five minutes, sir. They're gonna do a weekly kids cartoon about our exploits.
Tagon:What exploits? You can't be reporting back to ghost writers every time someone shoots at you!
Schlock:I know. They're gonna make stuff up. Like fiction, you know?
Tagon:It'll have to be fiction. There's no way that life in a mercenary company could possibly make for family-friendly entertainment.
Narrator:Yeah, That's what the comics board told us. We'll show 'em. . .