Sunday April 1, 2001
Book 1: The Tub of Happiness — Bounty Hunting

Transcript

Narrator: Appropriately fearful, ennesby flew home solo. Leaving tagon, brad, and sh'vuu to fly the giant, haunted tausennigan warship back to sol system by themselves.
Brad: Captain, I can't figure out the controls. They're all labeled in Tausennigan.
Tagon: Then let me fly her, corporal.
Brad: I didn't know you spoke Tausennigan, sir.
Tagon: I don't.
Brad: But...
Tagon: I speak 'Warship' very fluently, soldier.
Tagon: Without Ennesby here We'll have to use the wormgates, so the trip will take us an extra day or so.
Brad: It's funny how outmoded they seem, now that we've been using the teraport for a few months.
Tagon: Well, the rest of the galaxy uses them exclusively, so we might as well slum it on this trip. Besides, what could go wrong?
Ghost In the Pipes: YOU WILL ALL DIE
Brad: Okay, the gargling voice in the pipes is starting to give me the creeps.
Tagon: Just ignore it, corporal.
Shv'uu: Sir, I'm beginning to think it would have been a good idea to bring a squad of toughs with us.
Tagon: Bad idea, sergeant sh'vuu.
Tagon: Think about it for a moment, sergeant. The voice seems to be related to the running toilets.
Shv'uu: Oh. A squad of eight, 130-kilo men on high-protein diets... We'd be listening to that menacing gargle non-stop.
Tagon: No, the men would get spooked, and they'd stop flushing.
Shv'uu: Oh. Now that is scary.
Sign: Juibel Wormgate