Friday May 4, 2001
Book 1: The Tub of Happiness — Big Haunted Battleship


Ennesby: I thought you'd like to know that your ship is not haunted. The voice in the plumbing was just random bubbling noise. So you don't need to be all crazy and stuff.
Petey: Do you have any idea just how unlikely that random effect is, even in an infinite universe?
Ennesby: 'Pretty unlikely' is where I decided to leave it.
Petey: That's because your mind is too small to deal with it. I've been running a simulation to determine exactly how unlikely it is for random bubbling noises to consistently sound like a coherenent malicious voice.
Petey: In biological terms, I've been thinking about this nonstop for three-hundred billion years.
Ennesby: You'd be healthier if you just filed that stuff under 'things I need to repress.'