Sunday May 9, 2010
Book 11: Massively Parallel — Part IV: Mallcop Command


THURL (on comm): Hello, Corporal.  Is something wrong?  Where's Tagon, or Shodan?

NICK: I need advice.  I don't want to hurt Tagon's feelings, but this girl he likes?  I'm pretty sure she's a spy.

THURL: Okay, Nick.  If she's actually a spy, and you're not just seeing treasure maps in the hieroglyphs, then Tagon's feelings don't enter into it.  Now... what do you think she's after?

NICK: I don't know, but once she found out I'm unarmed she--

THURL (on comm): *interrupting* Unarmed?  You don't have a holdout?

NICK: "Hysterical bulkheads."  Long story.  Besides, Tagon didn't order me into combat.  He ordered me to go on a dinner date and get a girl to like him..

THURL (on comm): I'd have disobeyed that one, but okay.

NICK: Disobey orders?  Maybe you or Schlock could get away with that.

Yeah... Schlock gets away with it all the time.  I wish he were here.  What would Schlock do?

THURL (on comm): I don't know what Schlock would do.  You just said you're unarmed.

NICK: Yeah... he'd shoot first and eat the ashes later.

But he doesn't really need his plasgun to win.

NICK: That's it!  I'll just go after 'em the way Schlock would.  I can get away with that, right?

THURL: Well, I guess that depends on how many of them you can eat in one sitting.

NICK: Ugh!  I am not going to eat them!

Waiter: But Monsieur is going to pay for them.