Wednesday January 6, 2016
Book 16: Big, Dumb Objects — Part III
Note: Murderfinder and Meat-Puppet is a serial police procedural popular on the Unioc homeworld of Oth. It hinges upon several unlikely premises: a brilliant Unioc detective develops a rare and untreatable immune disorder, and must live in a sterile bubble. Her partner is a decidedly non-brilliant law enforcement officer promoted to detective out of nepotism, and most members of the department think it would be best for everyone if he met an untimely end. 
Because Murderfinder's allergies prevent her from using a proper CSTR (a conceit which moves beyond unlikely and into the "unheard of" realm,) she uses a custom communications suite to partner very closely with Meat Puppet, who must collect clues, gather evidence, and not die, all while suffering the constant haranguing from a voice that almost never shuts up. 
Murderfinder and Meat-Puppet is entering its 18th season, and rumor has it that Season Eighteen will be the one where Meatpuppet finally steals back Doc Jabbernoth's secret cure for Murderfinder's illness, which was stolen during Season Twelve by the Optomafia Cabal. This, then, would allow Murderfinder to meet Meat-Puppet eye-to-eye.
They probably won't kiss, though. The writers need to save something for Seasons Nineteen through Twenty-four, which are all under contract.


SHODAN: The Commodore retained a detective to help us figure out what's going on here.

EBBY: How is that going to work? We don't have the right telepresence rig.

SHODAN: No, but we have hypernet comms, and we have you.

EBBY: I don't want to star in an episode of "Murderfinder and Meat-Puppet."

SHODAN: Oh, come on. Meat-Puppet gets all the funny dialog.