Sunday August 5, 2001
Book 1: The Tub of Happiness — Equivocated Prevarication
A note about Mormons: That joke in the second panel refers to the fact that mormons don't drink alcholol, coffee, or tea, and abstain from all tobacco products. It does not have anything to do with mormons running out of places to hide bodies. Just so you know.


Narrator: Fanatics. . . You try to question them, and they try to kill themselves. And depending on how well you understand alien biology, you might not be able to stop them. Let's tune back in on the good Captain. . .
Tagon: Recap for me, Petey. What have we learned from the prisoners?
Petey: Well, they were very devoted to their cause, whatever it was.
Petey: They are also deathly allergic to chocolate, coffee, tea, tobacco, and anything that's been fermented with yeast.
Tagon: We're running out of places to stick the bodies.
Sign: Biological waste
Narrator: Wow. You'd think they were Mormons.
Bunni: Hi, Captain. What brings you to my shiny, new hospital?
Tagon: I'm just questioning some prisoners.
Bunni: You're following protocols, and using harmless, painless serums, right? I mean, I wouldn't want anybody to get hurt.
Tagon: No. We can't have that.
Petey: Nope, nope, nope.
Bunni: Well, I've got to get back down to the other end of the medibay and decant my patient, you boys play nice.
Tagon: Petey. . . You lied to her.
Petey: I'm just following your lead, sir.
Tagon: And you lied to me earlier. Aren't you programmed for explicit honesty?
Petey: Again, sir, I'm just following your lead.
Petey: Do you remember when you ordered me to repress and deny a certain train of thought for the good of Captain and crew?
Tagon: Yes. To keep you from committing suicide and killing us all.
Petey: Well, I've found that your order burned a logic path that allows me to lie to you for your own good. I just have to 'repress and deny' the truth to myself, first.
Tagon: This sounds less like an accident than like a cheap plot device.
Petey: I have no knowledge of any plot devices. Nope, nope, nope.