Sunday October 10, 2004
Book 6: Resident Mad Scientist — Part II: Schlocktoberfest 2004


NARRATOR: Deep behind enemy lines doesn't often mean going this deep.  Tagon, Elf, and Schlock are now 860 meters below the surface in the bunker of an unsuspecting enemy.

ELF: Sir, I'm happy to be out of the sewer, but this giant air shaft doesn't feel as secure.  It's so... open.

TAGON: It's doublethink.  We want them to think we came in through the sewer, but we don't want them to think we want them to think we came in through the sewer.

SCHLOCK: Ow.  Stop that.  It hurts my brain.

TAGON: Isn't your brain distributed through your entire body?

SCHLOCK: See why I want you to stop with the doublethink?

TAGON: Get some rest.  Our target has a meeting with off-world partners in twenty-seven hours, and we need to be happy and alert.  I've got the first watch.

SCHLOCK: Do you think they can smell us?  I mean, we ARE in their ventilation system, right?

TAGON: It gets filtered, and it's a big system.  Anything they smell will be pretty faint.

YSTREBEN GUARD #1: I told you yesterday, you hafta lay off that starchy stuff at lunch.

YSTREBEN GUARD #2: You smelt it, you dealt it.

YSTREBEN GUARD LIEUTENANT: Ugh, which one of you gasbags has been playing the colon trumpet?