Ovalkwiki - The Official Schlock Mercenary Encyclopedia
Writing Excuses with Brandon Sanderson, Dan Wells, Mary Robinette Kowal, and Howard Tayler
One Cobble at a Time - the official site for Sandra Tayler's writings
NARRATOR: Deep behind enemy lines doesn't often mean going this deep. Tagon, Elf, and Schlock are now 860 meters below the surface in the bunker of an unsuspecting enemy.
ELF: Sir, I'm happy to be out of the sewer, but this giant air shaft doesn't feel as secure. It's so... open.
TAGON: It's doublethink. We want them to think we came in through the sewer, but we don't want them to think we want them to think we came in through the sewer.
SCHLOCK: Ow. Stop that. It hurts my brain.
TAGON: Isn't your brain distributed through your entire body?
SCHLOCK: See why I want you to stop with the doublethink?
TAGON: Get some rest. Our target has a meeting with off-world partners in twenty-seven hours, and we need to be happy and alert. I've got the first watch.
SCHLOCK: Do you think they can smell us? I mean, we ARE in their ventilation system, right?
TAGON: It gets filtered, and it's a big system. Anything they smell will be pretty faint.
YSTREBEN GUARD #1: I told you yesterday, you hafta lay off that starchy stuff at lunch.
YSTREBEN GUARD #2: You smelt it, you dealt it.
YSTREBEN GUARD LIEUTENANT: Ugh, which one of you gasbags has been playing the colon trumpet?
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