Ovalkwiki - The Official Schlock Mercenary Encyclopedia
Writing Excuses with Brandon Sanderson, Dan Wells, Mary Robinette Kowal, and Howard Tayler
One Cobble at a Time - the official site for Sandra Tayler's writings
NARRATOR: Captain Kaff Tagon has dispatched the target, collected his amnesiac sergeant, and come up with a very simple plan for escape.
TAGON: Elf, wake up. I need you awake.
ELF: Captain... did you just kiss me?
TAGON: Elf, there's too much teraport denial activity going on. The teraport cage can't send us all back.
ELF: I'm mostly gone. Take Schlock and the prisoner.
TAGON: The prisoner is dead. There's not enough bandwidth to send the three of us back. It's just going to be you and Schlock.
TAGON: I need you awake so I can say goodbye. Tell the troops they're the finest soldiers I've ever served with.
ELF: Are you going to kiss me again?
TAGON: I was planning on it.
ELF: Oh, good.
ELF: You go, Sir. Leave me here. I don't think I could live with myself, losing you now.
TAGON: I'm the one who has to stay, because I'm the one with Dorothy Wire in my boots.
TAGON: See, there's not enough bandwidth to send even half of you.
NARRATOR: It is fast, bloody work, followed by the press of a button. No fanfare, no further farewells,
NARRATOR: Pranger's Banger's offered no quarter when they caught up with Tagon. But he didn't ask for any...
NARRATOR: He took six of them down before they caught him with a plasma beam. He wanted to die fighting, and while technically he died burning, he went out like he always hoped he would - in a blaze of glory.
NARRATOR: Schlock and Elf arrived safely aboard the Parrot's Dead, for certain values of "safely."
SCHLOCK: I didn't do it! I didn't do it!
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