Sunday October 31, 2004
Book 6: Resident Mad Scientist — Part II: Schlocktoberfest 2004


NARRATOR: Captain Kaff Tagon has dispatched the target, collected his amnesiac sergeant, and come up with a very simple plan for escape.

TAGON: Elf, wake up.  I need you awake.

ELF: Captain... did you just kiss me?

TAGON: Elf, there's too much teraport denial activity going on.  The teraport cage can't send us all back.

ELF: I'm mostly gone.  Take Schlock and the prisoner.

TAGON: The prisoner is dead.  There's not enough bandwidth to send the three of us back.  It's just going to be you and Schlock.

TAGON: I need you awake so I can say goodbye.  Tell the troops they're the finest soldiers I've ever served with.

ELF: Are you going to kiss me again?

TAGON: I was planning on it.

ELF: Oh, good.

ELF: You go, Sir.  Leave me here.  I don't think I could live with myself, losing you now.

TAGON: I'm the one who has to stay, because I'm the one with Dorothy Wire in my boots.

TAGON: See, there's not enough bandwidth to send even half of you.

NARRATOR: It is fast, bloody work, followed by the press of a button.  No fanfare, no further farewells,

NARRATOR: Pranger's Banger's offered no quarter when they caught up with Tagon.  But he didn't ask for any...

NARRATOR: He took six of them down before they caught him with a plasma beam.  He wanted to die fighting, and while technically he died burning, he went out like he always hoped he would - in a blaze of glory.

NARRATOR: Schlock and Elf arrived safely aboard the Parrot's Dead, for certain values of "safely."

SCHLOCK: I didn't do it!  I didn't do it!