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Ovalkwiki - The Official Schlock Mercenary Encyclopedia
Writing Excuses with Brandon Sanderson, Dan Wells, Mary Robinette Kowal, and Howard Tayler
One Cobble at a Time - the official site for Sandra Tayler's writings
NARRATOR: The Kelrik Hub is a high-traffic space station serving a hub gate in the wormgate network. It is home to millions of people, plus a little-known escrow agency for contract killers.
GEN. TAGON: Relax, boy. The waiting is always the hardest part.
KEVYN: *sigh*
GEN. TAGON: You prepped this one right. Triply redundant backup, three retreat paths, and unknown faces fronting the operation.
KEVYN: If you say, "What's the worst thing that could happen?" I will be forced to kill you.
GEN. TAGON: Who, me? I've been taunting Murphy since before the diapers you used to wear were invented. I know better.
(unknown, over comm): Running-Back to Poppa Bear. We've got the lost luggage. Opening the umbrella.
KEVYN: Finally.
(comm chatter): WAAAUGH! Rocket fire!
Gargamel here. We've got no shot. Repeat, no shot.
Pull back, Gargamel.
Ennesby! Where are you?
I'm inbound. Heads-down in three, two, one...
SFX: KA-BOOM
(comm chatter): Geez, Butch. Do you think you used enough dynamite?
Dustoff time, boys. Follow the shiny tanks.
Hey, what's this?
It was a wall. Let's move!
No wait. Look!
Grab it and run! They're closing on you!
No, not that. This! Help me out with AAAIEE!
SFX: BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM
GEN. TAGON: Ah, the Muzak of the Tac-Room.
KEVYN: You taunted Murphy while I wasn't paying attention. I can tell.
ENNESBY: Captain, you know the phrase, "Run like you stole something?"
KEVYN: Stole? Did we steal something?
ENNESBY: After a manner of speaking, yes.
(unknown, airlock): Lucy! I'm home!
KEVYN: Please tell me we didn't just steal from the escrow agency.
ENNESBY: Well, it turns out they already had a contract out on us.
GEN. TAGON: I'm not going to be the one to suggest that this means it can't get any worse.