Sunday March 11, 2001
Book 1: The Tub of Happiness — Bounty Hunting


Hank Boeufcake: Good evening, sports fans: I'm Hank Boeufcake, here with Riffany Hidalgo, and it's time for your HN3 Sports Recap.
Hank Boeufcake: Highlights tonight come to us from the nogales turbowl, where the San Andreas Beach Forty-niners took on the Zarahemla Jazz. Quite a match-up, eh riffany?
Riffany Hidalgo: It certainly could have gone either way for a while there, hank. The 'niners dealt the jazz a crushing first period of scrimmage tennis, but the jazz came right back in the floor exercise.
Hank Boeufcake: That floor exercise was a real surprise, Riffany. I fully expected the 'niners to play the Kerrigan card, and put a pipe to anne lumebas, but they missed their chance, and Anne's string of perfect tens put the jazz over the top.
Riffany Hidalgo: You know the rules, sports fans. In an even heat like this, the third period is sudden death, and the 'niners and the jazz agreed to duke it out in sixteen vicious downs of armorball.
Hank Boeufcake: If it were up to me, riffany, I would have liked to see it end in compulsory couples ballroom. You expect blood in sudden-death armorball, but it's so much more vivid when it's dealt during a foxtrot.
Riffany Hidalgo: Well, even the most insatiable fans were pleased with the 'niners strategy during their first possession, hank.
Sign: HN3 Sportsnyte
Riffany Hidalgo: Watch as don morono, the 'niners pennyback delivers what looks like a real boner of a pass.
Riffany Hidalgo: Interception! but if I were jazz defensive back tuck chestpuffer, i'd have paid more attention to the fact that the intended receiver was now running away from me just as fast as hil little legs would take him.
Sign: 40
Hank Boeufcake: Leave it to don morono to throw a long bomb, and make good on it.
Riffany Hidalgo: Tuck's out of surgery now, and his manager says he'll be back on the field next week.
SFX: Boom.
Hank Boeufcake: In other sports news, scottish league officials tried to open the game up some with a rugby option.
Riffany Hidalgo: They were voted down again. League parliament knows that rugby's just too dangerous.