Sunday December 5, 2004
Book 6: Resident Mad Scientist — Part III: Life's a Beach


NARRATOR: The score... Good Guys, 2.  Bad Guys, 0.

SHEP: You okay, General?

KARL: Just fine, son.  It's not the first time I've been tackled by a hundred and fifty kilos of human shield.

NICK: Rev, didja stake that guy ta th' wall on purpose?

THEO: It's called mercy, Nick.  My guy is more alive than yours is.

BANGER GRUNT: Mercy!?  You stuck me right through my throbbin' eye.

THEO: The grace of God knows no bounds, but my mercy has some practical limitations.

THEO: Sorry for the mess, General.  We came to talk to you, and Shep here suspected that if we didn't talk now, you'd be indisposed to talk later.

KARL: A Louie who knows how to listen to the enlisted men...  Did you learn that from my boy?

THEO: I... um... Sir, we're here with bad news.

KARL: I heard it already.  Winky there says my son assassinated his colonel, and then died trying to escape.

THEO: I don't know the whole story yet myself.  I'm here to invite you to the funeral.

NICK: WAITTAMINNIT...  You saying this guy's wit' th' outfit what killed the Captain?

THEO AND KARL: *in unison* Uh-oh.


THEO: Stand down, Corporal.

NICK: Make me.  This little weasel is gonna

NICK: Eep?

THEO (offpanel): He's going to get picked up by the police, and when his boss bails him out he will relay a message.  But he has to be alive to do that.

KARL: Heh.  Your Louie knows how to make a point, son.