Monday January 15, 2001

Book 1: The Tub of Happiness
Bureaucracy Bountiful

Transcript

Narrator:Question: A public defender, two mercenaries, and fifteen attorney-drones have fallen out of a 6000+ meter tower on Luna. Who is going to hit first?
Narrator:Tradititonal answer: Nobody cares, as long as they all hit.
Massey:You better hope I die when I hit,because if I live, I'm going to sue both of you.
Schlock:
Brad:
Attorney Drone Colle:
Footnote:In lunar gravity, terminal velocity through atmosphere is lower than it is on earth (though still high enough to kill). Depending on how efficiently these eighteen souls (well, three souls, plus fifteen soulless drones) can splay themselves out, they will be falling for anywhere from two-and-a-half to seven minutes before hitting.On television, seven minutes of non-stop action compresses to about thirty seconds of air-time.This is not television. We'll be dragging this out for at least a week. Pull up a chair, pop some corn, and grab me a cold one.We realize that some of you do not have the emotional mettle to remain healthy while waiting for the conclusion of our little plummeting drama. In order for you to get some sleep tonight, we’ll give away a few highlights of the conclusion:Only three individuals will hit the concrete. Two of them will die. The third will feel very, very stupid, which is quite fair.