Monday December 25, 2000

It's Bonus Strip Time!

On this special day, members of the Schlock Mercenary cast have something special to say to you, our faithful readers and fans...
Book 1: The Tub of Happiness
Bureaucracy Bountiful

Transcript

Breya:Enough messing around. Tagon! Secure some space for us to process our customers.
Tagon:Yes, Ma'am
Breya:Thurl, Ennesby! Make the connections you need in order to accelerate data entry.
Thurl:We'll need to jack straight in to the government computers, Admiral.
Breya:Then you know what you need to do.
Ennesby:But these computers are so old! It would be like having sex with your own great-great-great grandfather.
Breya:If your metaphor makes it better for you, that's fine with me.
Thurl:Ugh. Am I supposed to be picturing incest or necrophilia?
Ennesby:I'm the one jacking in. Your metaphor is probably "pimping."
Footnote:It's Bonus Strip Time!On this special day, members of the Schlock Mercenary cast have something special to say to you, our faithful readers and fans...
Ennesby:It has just been called to our attention that because of the dated delivery of these strips, some of you are considering today's strips a "Christmas present."
Thurl:Right. And apparently some of you are less than appreciative of the metaphor you unwrapped in the strip above.
Ennesby:In that light, we'd like to take this opportunity to point out that you've been getting a present a day from Schlock Mercenary for over six months now, so you should quit complaining.
Schlock:You were supposed to apologize, Ennesby!
Ennesby:Ho diddley-ho. No way. You feel sorry? YOU apologize.
Thurl:Can I have my figgy pudding now?
Narrator:Ah, petty squabbling among the kids. Just like Christmas at my house!