Monday December 25, 2000
Breya:Enough messing around. Tagon! Secure some space for us to process our customers.
Breya:Thurl, Ennesby! Make the connections you need in order to accelerate data entry.
Thurl:We'll need to jack straight in to the government computers, Admiral.
Breya:Then you know what you need to do.
Ennesby:But these computers are so old! It would be like having sex with your own great-great-great grandfather.
Breya:If your metaphor makes it better for you, that's fine with me.
Thurl:Ugh. Am I supposed to be picturing incest or necrophilia?
Ennesby:I'm the one jacking in. Your metaphor is probably "pimping."
Footnote:It's Bonus Strip Time!On this special day, members of the Schlock Mercenary cast have something special to say to you, our faithful readers and fans...
Ennesby:It has just been called to our attention that because of the dated delivery of these strips, some of you are considering today's strips a "Christmas present."
Thurl:Right. And apparently some of you are less than appreciative of the metaphor you unwrapped in the strip above.
Ennesby:In that light, we'd like to take this opportunity to point out that you've been getting a present a day from Schlock Mercenary for over six months now, so you should quit complaining.
Schlock:You were supposed to apologize, Ennesby!
Ennesby:Ho diddley-ho. No way. You feel sorry? YOU apologize.
Thurl:Can I have my figgy pudding now?
Narrator:Ah, petty squabbling among the kids. Just like Christmas at my house!