Sunday March 4, 2001


Note: Those of you wondering what the acronym "U.N.S." stands for, it's "United Nations of Sol," the 31st century meta-government that subsumes all nations, corpornations, habistates, cometownships, and other governing bodies in the gravitational thrall of Earth's sun. There are many human-populated (and even human-ruled) star systems outside of Sol system, however, that pay only token homage to the U.N.S.

For this reason, the U.N.S. often engages bounty hunters who are licensed in multiple star systems for enforcement of laws beyond the Sol wormgate. These itinerant lawmen are feared across the galaxy for their relentless pursuit of justice, their prowess in combat, and their outrageous fees.

Book 1: The Tub of Happiness
Bounty Hunting

Transcript

Narrator:Bounty-hunter Doyt Gyo is making off with our heroes' favorite doctor.
DoytHaban: Come on, Doc. You got some law to answer to.
Sign:Roof Access
Ennesby: Not if I can help it. . .
Ennesby:Hey! Mix THIS with your Minoxydil, chrome-dome!
SFX:MAZORCH
SFX:B'ZORB.
SFX:PZOINCK
Ennesby:Yeeargh! Help! Help! I've been decapitated!!
SFX:Kluhnk
Narrator:Tagon's office, downstairs.
Shv'uu:Sir, building security indicates he has a ship on the roof.
Kevyn:I can take care of that. We'll just teraport it someplace else.
Schlock:No! Wait! I've got a better idea. . .
Tagon:Your ideas tend to result in unnecessary violence, Sergeant Schlock.
Schlock:And your point is. . .
Tagon:Let's broaden the definition of "necessary."
Narrator:Doyt's ship, on the roof. . .
DoytHaban: Quit fighting the cuffenclamp, Doc. Just get in.
Bunni:You're making a mistake. I'm not who you think I am.
DoytHaban: U.N.S. Agents at Scotland Yard can make that call.
DoytHaban:Hmmm. . . My flight-seat is softer than i remember--HOLY SWEET MOTHER OF
DoytHaban:urk. . .
Bunni:Why don't you hand that head to me, Sergeant. I can reattach it.
Schlock:You don't have to, you know.
Narrator:An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a head for a head. . . How Biblical!