Monday November 8, 2004
Book 6: Resident Mad Scientist — Part III: Life's a Beach
Note: Kevyn's implication that Florida allows dead people to vote has nothing to do with the U.S. Presidential elections in 2000 and 2004. Those are as relevant to Kevyn as Akhenaten's relocation of the Egyptian capital from Thebes to El Amarna was to early 21st-century farmers in Idaho... which is to say "it might be remotely relevant, but Kevyn doesn't recall it, and wouldn't care if he did."

No, the issue he's referring to was part of the UNS Senate elections in 2925 in which certain long-deceased residents of the Archipelago of Florida were exhumed and re-animated during voter registration by Whiglican extremists seeking to illegally leverage the Senior Citizen Vote Accrual Act. This act gave an additional tenth of a vote to citizens for every decade they'd lived past age 75. Some of the exhumed voters qualified for almost four votes, demonstrating that the Whiglicans got greedy, the vote registrars were clueless, and the embalming processes of the 26th century would have put Akhenaten's priests not only to shame but off their lunches.

It was a silly law, and only shambling mobs of snowbird zombies successfully demonstrated this to Archipelligan (sort of rhymes with "Gilligan") legislators.


ENNESBY: Sir, I'm not sure how a new t-shirt will help you cheat at volleyball.

KEVYN: It won't.  I'm not going to cheat.

ENNESBY: Then why.

KEVYN: I AM going to have Tagon on my team, though.

KEVYN: Fab me a shirt with this on it.


ENNESBY: Captain Tagon would not have approved.

KEVYN: Where do you think we are?  Florida?  The dead guy doesn't get to vote.