Sunday December 1, 2002
Narrator:And so, while our heroes' ship is refitted for mercenary service, they descend the lunar 'hellevator' to do some community service.
Schlock:I'm pretty excited about this, sir.
Schlock:I cant wait to do some of these 'random acts of kindness.'
Tagon:Aaaugh! Not random! Your squad is going to a hospital!
Narrator:Meanwhile, back on their ship, A sullen DoytHaban gets clobbered at chess by the ship's new resident A.I.
Ennesby:Hmmmm.... Mate in 32 moves.
DoytHaban:I haven't moved a piece yet, Ennesby.
Ennesby:I'm reading your mind. Just like you used to do to me, I figure.
DoytHaban:I haven't even thought about moving a piece yet, Ennesby.
Ennesby:But after the way I schooled you last game, I can predict what you're going to think.
Narrator:DoytHaban's thinking would be a bit different if he could look in on his previous employers right now...
UNS Govt Suit:Let me get this straight... You fired him?
Bongo:Yeah. He screwed up. That's what I do to employees who screw up.
UNS Govt Suit:I have two problems with that policy. First of all, your employees are some of the most dangerous men and women in the galaxy. You're not just employing them... You're supposed to be keeping an eye on them.
UNS Govt Suit:And second, you don't just fire government employees. Expenses go down, and we'll lose next year's budget allocations.
Bongo:Hey, I've got that covered. I 'hired' an empty account, and have been collecting doyt's salary ever since he left.