Sunday December 8, 2002


Book 2: The Teraport Wars
Part II: Tandem Acts of Kindness

Transcript

Narrator:Aboard the mercenary troop-ship "Serial Peacemaker" Docked at the lunar hellevator, Commander Kevyn Andreyasn gets a call from his special forces squad.
Schlock:Hi, commander. How are things up there?
Kevyn:That depends. What have you gotten yourself into now, sergeant?
Schlock:Well, me and Legs and Andy, we stopped a mugging. Problem is, we used a little more force than they like down here.
Kevyn:Did the mugger live?
Schlock:Yeah.
Kevyn:Did he get all of his missing bits re-attached?
Schlock:Yeah.
Kevyn:So what's the problem?
Schlock:Well, they won't let us post bail 'till a lawyer takes our statement.
Kevyn:So why not just
Andy:Sarge! Another one!
Schlock:Oops. Hang on, kevyn.
Attorney Drone 1:Hi, i'm here to take your AAAAIIIEEE!
SFX:CHOMP
Kevyn:Sergeant, you might consider letting one of those attorney drones live long enough to actually take your statement.
Schlock:It won't work, sir. As soon as they see us they recognize me, and they try to run...
Schlock:... and that just gets me all excited and hungry.
Kevyn:Fine. You keep eating. Eventually they will assign you an attorney we're not out to collect a bounty on, and you can post mail and come home.
Ennesby:Actually, commander, it may not be that simple. Remember when I accidentally spawned an A.I. in the government computers here on Luna?
Kevyn:You think Lunesby is behind this? She'd have to be laced throughout a lot of systems.
Ennesby:Well, that depends. Does "all of them" qualify as "a lot" ?
Kevyn:I want to take a few minutes and very thoroughly not consider the implications of what you just said.