Sunday October 7, 2001
Book 1: The Tub of Happiness — Schlocktoberfest 2001


Narrator: Our heroes have gone in different directions. Captain Kaff Tagon has taken a military transport and the strike teams on a board-and-sweep mission in the sol system. But they're a little short on some rather critical supplies...
Thurl: Sir, Kevyn can't 'port those cryokits straight to us. Apparently europa orbit has been mined with anti-teraport blocking systems.
Narrator: With him are sergeants Thurl, Schlock, Shv'uu, and Shodan: Lieutenant Der Trihs, Doctor Bunnigus, and some Twenty-odd grunts, including Brad, Nick, and Shep.
Tagon: Have him load them up in a shuttle, and Rendezvous with us later. We can't wait any longer.
Narrator: This crowd of twenty-seven souls is long on muscle, lean on medical supplies, and armed with a combined total IQ of less than 2,500 points. You do the math.
Narrator: Back with the company's giant warship, we find munitions commander kevyn andreyasn in charge. Under him are Petey (the brain of the warship), Newly commissioned Lieutenant commander Doythaban, Chef Ch'vorthq, Massey Reynstein, Ennesby, and the Very Reverend Theo Fobius.
Kevyn: Doythaban, you and ennesby take this shuttle of gear to Tagon. I'll stay here with the ship.
Petey: You can't 'port all the way in, but it shouldn't take you more than an hour or so to get there.
Ennesby: Hey! We'll have time to play some chess!
DoytHaban: Mate in 16 moves on your first game. 18 on our second.
Ennesby: You can't possibly be that many moves ahead, Haban.
Narrator: Yes he can.
Narrator: Meanwhile, what of the exiled admiral breya, Haban II, and their ship full of frozen terrorists?
Nejjat Rebels: You can talk about it, or you can scream about it. You pick.
Breya: There's no call for torture or violence. Have you people honestly never heard that the enemy of your enemy is supposed to be your friend?
Nejjat Rebels: Well, it's a novel concept, but it doesn't seem to have panned out for you.
Narrator: Yikes! It looks like somebody got thawed out on the wrong side of the cryochamber.