Sunday February 11, 2001
Book 1: The Tub of Happiness — Bombs Ahoy
It's Bonus strip time!

Dennis Stout is turning 15. He's one of my biggest fans (and certainly the biggest fan I've actually met.) This is his present.


Narrator: The reverend and the doctor are trapped in an orbital elevator, and won't be free for another 14 hours.
Narrator: They are both young, attractive, intelligent, and single. What will they do to pass the time?
Reverend: I've been meaning to ask you a rather personal question, doctor.
Reverend: How did a beautiful woman like yourself end up with the name "Edward?"
Bunni: It's a long story.
Reverend: We're not short on time.
Narrator: They'll tell their life stories, naturally. Don't give me that look. What would you do?
Narrator: Edward Bunnigus relates the story behind her given name:
Bunni: Well, to start with, both of my parents were idiots.
Bunni: I love 'em, but between the two of them they could come up with maybe 110 uncontested I.Q. points.
Sign: Charles Bunnigus 02-2168-37Jane Bunnigus 02-2167-3
Bunni: Earth's "Gene pool improvement act" forbade them from reproducing naturally. "Evolution through legislative selection." is the term the gene-pool micromanagers use.
Bunni: So, my dad went to gene-be-tweaked and asked for a standard upgrade package. He and mom agreed that they wanted a smart, capable girl.
Sign: GENE the children
Charles Bunnigus: Yeah, start wif da egzotick danser fingy, den make her reeely smart.
GeneBeTweaked Sales: You are a man of rare taste, mister bunnigus.
Bunni: I was cooked up in a simuterus, just in case there was any chance my mother could pass on her defects via the womb. They took no chances, and so I was "Born" in a lab.
Bunni: The lab put a wrist-tag on me to indicate what genetic packages I was carrying. My package was "Exotic Dancer-210-A/X."
Bunni: On my wrist it was abbreviated to "ED-210." Unfortunate nomenclature, at best.
Charles Bunnigus: Honey, dey named da baby already for us. It sez here her name is "Ed."
Jane Bunnigus: Daz nodda prittinuff name...
Jane Bunnigus: We'n call'er "Edward."
Bunni: What a memory...
Footnote: It's Bonus strip time!Dennis Stout is turning 15. He's one of my biggest fans (and certainly the biggest fan I've actually met.) This is his present.
Tagon: Happy Birthday, Dennis. You can get a vehicular learner's permit now!
Breya: And we thought we'd suit up in honor of the occasion... Just to be safe.
Footnote: The rest of you out there might want to get some body armor too. And that's all I have to say on the matter.