Sunday February 11, 2001
Narrator:The reverend and the doctor are trapped in an orbital elevator, and won't be free for another 14 hours.
Narrator:They are both young, attractive, intelligent, and single. What will they do to pass the time?
Reverend:I've been meaning to ask you a rather personal question, doctor.
Reverend:How did a beautiful woman like yourself end up with the name "Edward?"
Bunni:It's a long story.
Reverend:We're not short on time.
Narrator:They'll tell their life stories, naturally. Don't give me that look. What would you do?
Narrator:Edward Bunnigus relates the story behind her given name:
Bunni:Well, to start with, both of my parents were idiots.
Bunni:I love 'em, but between the two of them they could come up with maybe 110 uncontested I.Q. points.
Sign:Charles Bunnigus 02-2168-37Jane Bunnigus 02-2167-3
Bunni:Earth's "Gene pool improvement act" forbade them from reproducing naturally. "Evolution through legislative selection." is the term the gene-pool micromanagers use.
Bunni:So, my dad went to gene-be-tweaked and asked for a standard upgrade package. He and mom agreed that they wanted a smart, capable girl.
Sign:GENE the children
Charles Bunnigus:Yeah, start wif da egzotick danser fingy, den make her reeely smart.
GeneBeTweaked Sales:You are a man of rare taste, mister bunnigus.
Bunni:I was cooked up in a simuterus, just in case there was any chance my mother could pass on her defects via the womb. They took no chances, and so I was "Born" in a lab.
Bunni:The lab put a wrist-tag on me to indicate what genetic packages I was carrying. My package was "Exotic Dancer-210-A/X."
Bunni:On my wrist it was abbreviated to "ED-210." Unfortunate nomenclature, at best.
Charles Bunnigus:Honey, dey named da baby already for us. It sez here her name is "Ed."
Jane Bunnigus:Daz nodda prittinuff name...
Jane Bunnigus:We'n call'er "Edward."
Bunni:What a memory...
Footnote:It's Bonus strip time!Dennis Stout is turning 15. He's one of my biggest fans (and certainly the biggest fan I've actually met.) This is his present.
Tagon:Happy Birthday, Dennis. You can get a vehicular learner's permit now!
Breya:And we thought we'd suit up in honor of the occasion... Just to be safe.
Footnote:The rest of you out there might want to get some body armor too. And that's all I have to say on the matter.