Sunday February 18, 2001
Book 1: The Tub of Happiness — Bombs Ahoy


Narrator: Our little mercenary company is in disarray right now, and their cruiser, the Kitesfear has been utterly destroyed. . . Vaporized. . . Disintegrated. . .
Sign: Tier 10
Narrator: This can only mean it's time for an emergency staff meeting.
Breya: We need a base of operations. Something semi-permanent while we find funds for a new ship.
Thurl: Admiral, with the stock crash, we're going to have a hard time finding funds for a first-and-last month's rent payment, let alone a starship.
Ennesby: I think I can solve the rent problem. You know the old saw, "With a long enough lever I can move the world," right?
Ennesby: Well, with control of a government computer, I can move an entire floor of bureaucrats out of a suitable office building.
Breya: Good thinking. Make it happen.
Breya: Meanwhile, we need to do something about our stock price. Somebody is running a smear campaign, making it look like the explosion was our fault.
Tagon: I'll bet the Partnership Collective is behind that.
Schlock: I can solve that problem. Vaporizing attorneys is my specialty! I'm 20 for 22 right now.
Breya: No, Sergeant. As our new principal stockholder that kind of action would be too public.
Breya: Too public. . . Publicity. . . I've got a great idea.
Schlock: Uh-oh.
Narrator: Andreyasn Interstellar/Intergalactic Enterprises promo spot, take one.
Schlock: Hi! I was the very first living being to try out Andreyasn's hyperdrive, the 'teraport.' Since then my friends and I have safely hopped all over the galaxy without using a single wormgate!
Schlock: The teraport has got to be the hottest new technology of the millennium. I liked it so much, I bought the company!
Director: CUT!
Breya: What's the matter? He went through those lines perfectly.
Director: It's not the lines. Ugh. It's the. . . the. . . MAKE-UP!
Sign: Director
Director: Franklin, can you make him any more. . . err. . . any less. . .
Franklin: No, I can't. Trust me, boss. It'll be easier to fix this in post.