Sunday February 18, 2001


Book 1: The Tub of Happiness
Bombs Ahoy

Transcript

Narrator:Our little mercenary company is in disarray right now, and their cruiser, the Kitesfear has been utterly destroyed. . . Vaporized. . . Disintegrated. . .
Sign:Tier 10
Narrator:This can only mean it's time for an emergency staff meeting.
Breya:We need a base of operations. Something semi-permanent while we find funds for a new ship.
Thurl:Admiral, with the stock crash, we're going to have a hard time finding funds for a first-and-last month's rent payment, let alone a starship.
Ennesby:I think I can solve the rent problem. You know the old saw, "With a long enough lever I can move the world," right?
Ennesby:Well, with control of a government computer, I can move an entire floor of bureaucrats out of a suitable office building.
Breya:Good thinking. Make it happen.
Breya:Meanwhile, we need to do something about our stock price. Somebody is running a smear campaign, making it look like the explosion was our fault.
Tagon:I'll bet the Partnership Collective is behind that.
Schlock:I can solve that problem. Vaporizing attorneys is my specialty! I'm 20 for 22 right now.
Breya:No, Sergeant. As our new principal stockholder that kind of action would be too public.
Breya:Too public. . . Publicity. . . I've got a great idea.
Schlock:Uh-oh.
Narrator:Andreyasn Interstellar/Intergalactic Enterprises promo spot, take one.
Schlock:Hi! I was the very first living being to try out Andreyasn's hyperdrive, the 'teraport.' Since then my friends and I have safely hopped all over the galaxy without using a single wormgate!
Schlock:The teraport has got to be the hottest new technology of the millennium. I liked it so much, I bought the company!
Director:CUT!
Breya:What's the matter? He went through those lines perfectly.
Director:It's not the lines. Ugh. It's the. . . the. . . MAKE-UP!
Sign:Director
Director:Franklin, can you make him any more. . . err. . . any less. . .
Franklin:No, I can't. Trust me, boss. It'll be easier to fix this in post.