Sunday October 8, 2000
Book 1: The Tub of Happiness — BOARDERS!!


Narrator: It's happened so many times before that there should be an archetype: The group has locked themselves out, so they send the little guy through a window (or a chimney, or, in today's case, a sewer line). He then opens up the door for everyone else. Unfortunately, the archetype has nothing to say about cases in which that door is heavily guarded...
Schlock: (thinking) Eight guards. In a pinch I could eat maybe three.
Schlock: (thinking) They've covered the station side hatch...
Schlock: (thinking) ...but that's not the only way into this ship.
Schlock: (thinking) Hah! The forward hatch is unguarded!
Schlock: (thinking) Probably because it opens into hard vacuum.
Schlock: (thinking) Gotta find a way to get thirty mercenaries across a patch of hard vacuum to this door.
Sign: Vacuum
SFX: (maybe) Think think
Narrator: Five minutes later...
Cab Driver: Somebody here called for six taxis?
Narrator: And five minutes later than that...
Kevyn: Think about it... if Schlock called taxis for us, it's because he couldn't get us through the aft door.
Breya: Which probably means that it's guarded.
Tagon: So he's taking us in through the forward hatch... But won't the guards come running when the hatch alarms sound?
Breya: He's probably figured out a way to prevent that.
Tagon: Maybe he's disabled the alarm?
Kevyn: I doubt it. That's pretty involved.
Kevyn: Maybe he's barricaded the corridor to give us a little more time.
Tagon: Or arranged some clever distraction, so the guards don't notice the hatch alerts.
Breya: He's probably got it timed to the second, this plan of his.
Sign: Notice Passenger
Narrator: The black six goes on the red seven.
Schlock: Oh, cool. Thanks.