Sunday October 15, 2000
Book 1: The Tub of Happiness — BOARDERS!!


Narrator: The Eld Earth term is "Mexican Standoff." Take two armed and hostile groups, and with no shots yet fired, have them point their weapons at each other.
Narrator: In theory, nobody will open fire, because in a Mexican Standoff there can be no winner.
Narrator: Remarkably, even after a thousand years of racial marriage, Captain Tagon has no Mexican ancestry whatsoever.
Tagon: Nice body armor.
KFDA Commando: Wishing you had some?
Kevyn: Tagon wanted backup. The only thing I can provide him with is you.
Der Trihs: And I'm quite the juggernaut in this jar. new plan, please.
Kevyn: Actually, my plan involved hooking you up to your new body.
Der Trihs: Oh. . . Oh, my.
Kevyn: I haven't finished the life-support system, though. Fortunately, I can rig the neural Waldos straight through your fluid containment unit.
Der Trihs: But that would mean I'd be. . .
Ennesby: That's right, you get to keep your bottle!
Narrator: Elapsed time, thirty seconds. Plug and Play.
Ennesby: You look great. Now life will be like an open door. But only just a little bit.
Ennesby: You know. . . ajar.
Der Trihs: Do you mind if I break him?