Okay, so the New Sync Boys are a complex hoax, and we're being paid to cover it up...
...By defending their holograms from disruption by any of their fourteen thousand amourously aggressive female fans.
All those girls, emotionally trapped. Helpless. Enslaved by a farce.
Merchandise ??ll caps T-shirts . . . wimples . . . . crisping pins.
I feel cold and dirty inside.
I think that's the 4-liter big-chug you just finished.
I'm still waiting for the 2000 milligrams of caffeine to kick in.