Sunday October 8, 2000


Book 1: The Tub of Happiness
BOARDERS!!

Transcript

Narrator:It's happened so many times before that there should be an archetype: The group has locked themselves out, so they send the little guy through a window (or a chimney, or, in today's case, a sewer line). He then opens up the door for everyone else. Unfortunately, the archetype has nothing to say about cases in which that door is heavily guarded...
Schlock:(thinking) Eight guards. In a pinch I could eat maybe three.
Schlock:(thinking) They've covered the station side hatch...
Schlock:(thinking) ...but that's not the only way into this ship.
Schlock:(thinking) Hah! The forward hatch is unguarded!
Schlock:(thinking) Probably because it opens into hard vacuum.
Schlock:(thinking) Gotta find a way to get thirty mercenaries across a patch of hard vacuum to this door.
Sign:Vacuum
SFX:(maybe) Think think
Narrator:Five minutes later...
Cab Driver:Somebody here called for six taxis?
Narrator:And five minutes later than that...
Kevyn:Think about it... if Schlock called taxis for us, it's because he couldn't get us through the aft door.
Breya:Which probably means that it's guarded.
Tagon:So he's taking us in through the forward hatch... But won't the guards come running when the hatch alarms sound?
Breya:He's probably figured out a way to prevent that.
Tagon:Maybe he's disabled the alarm?
Kevyn:I doubt it. That's pretty involved.
Kevyn:Maybe he's barricaded the corridor to give us a little more time.
Tagon:Or arranged some clever distraction, so the guards don't notice the hatch alerts.
Breya:He's probably got it timed to the second, this plan of his.
Sign:Notice Passenger
Narrator:The black six goes on the red seven.
Schlock:Oh, cool. Thanks.