Doctor: So you have no orifice other than that enormous mouth of yours?
Schlock: None whatsoever. We A-Morphs are one-holers.
Doctor: I can't complete your enlistment Physical without doing a rectal examination.
Schlock: Let me get this straight. We can't be done 'till you stick that gloved hand someplace?
Schlock: Are you open to suggestions?
Doctor: We're done.
Schlock: Can I eat another thermometer first?