Narrator: From the memoirs of Jud Shafter, KFDA Commando:
Jud: After sounding the alarm, I hustled over to the commander and told him everything.
Jud: Good intelligence is hard to come by, and I had some of the best, having just escaped form the enemy.
Jud: That's right. One boarder, unarmed. Shaped like a pile of crap.
KFDA commando: You're sure about this?
Jud: Positive.
SFX: (three guns cocking) K'klik
Narrator: ...And that, fair readers, is military intelligence.