Sunday September 16, 2001
Book 1: The Tub of Happiness — Magic Dream-Land


Narrator: As our heroes get acquainted with their client, the enemy executes his opening moves with his vile pawns. . . (of Doom!!)
Tom McSony: Here's the downpayment. All you need to do is take a few children hostage, hole up in one of the rides, and then start making demands.
Chuck Robleski: An' then you come to the rescue by providing Magic Dream-Land with the ransom money and an air-bus for me?
Tom McSony: Exactly, You'll be extracted safely, and nobody will get hurt.
Chuck Robleski: Okay, but how do I know you'll do that? If you don't come get me out I might be stuck, an' they'll shoot at me.
Tom McSony: We couldn't let that happen. We'd have no way to pay you the rest of your fee.
Chuck Robleski: Oh, Okay then.
Tom McSony: Now I need to take your picture for our company scrapbook. . .
Narrator: A bit later. . .
Sign: Precinct 12
Tom McSony: All you need to do is upload this picture, and this profile into your law-enforcement database.
Earth Police: It says here that this man is an infamous pedophile-serial-killer-terrorist.
Tom McSony: That's right. He's known to be very, very heavily armed, and he always eventually kills all his hostages. The best way to deal with him is to charge in with extreme prejudice.
Earth Police: Hostages could get hurt that way.
Tom McSony: They're better off dying quickly in a hail of friendly fire than at his hands. Trust me on this. We've been following this guy for years now.
Earth Police: I don't know. . .
Tom McSony: Did I mention that I need more tickets to the Policeman's Ball?
Narrator: And what of our heroes? What are they doing now?
Shv'uu: Captain, we just got an update from the law-enforcement database.
Tagon: What's new?
Shv'uu: Well, we got some more grainy black-and-white images of the Grossman gang, a fuzzy picture of someone they call 'Butch' and this new entry.
Tagon: Wow. This guy must be one scary customer.
Shv'uu: He sounds pretty sick, but I'm sure the men can 'cure' him if he shows up in the park.
Narrator: It'll be an interesting cure, considering the toxic nature of hot lead.